KILLER COCKS AND MEGA SHARKS!!!
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| Porn star Ron Jeremy and his latest co-star.. |
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| Yes, that is a shark attacking a 747.. |
In the world of DTD (Direct to DVD) anything goes, anything can be made and it usually is. There are companies in the states that has a knack of making B-movie horrors and sci-fi's such as Alien Invasion or Sickle, or monster movies, such as Shark Attack, Shark Attack II and Shark Attack III or cheap knock-offs of whatever the major blockbuster is at the time, for I am Legend you get I am Omega, for Transformers you get Transmorphers, for Fast and Furious you get Street Racer..
There are two forthcoming releases that just 'blow' the rest out of the 'water'...
One Eyed Monster
It's like waiting for a bus, you're standing there, waiting and waiting then two come at once. Well, in DTD land we have two killer penis movies, one earlier in the year, Frank Henelotter's return Bad Biology, and now the equally bizarre pork n' slash One Eyed Monster.
Aging porn star Ron Jeremy, he of the nine and three quarter inch penis, dies on a snowy hilltop when he is hit by an asteroid while shooting his latest skin flick but when his body is found by his film crew they notice that he is missing his famous apendage. Said apendage goes on a head exploding, body splitting murderous rampage as the survivor fight for their lives in the wooden cabin.
What do you do against a killer penis? Catch it in a condom? Chase after it with salt?
To see the trailer and get those juices flowing - CLICK HERE.
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
The other great DTD release is the fantastically spot on titled Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus which is, as it states, about a massive scrape between a mega shark and a giant octopus. Starring Debbie Gibson, the young Britney-type cherub faced singer from the '80's, and a DTD stalard, Lorenzo Lamas, the film is, actually you can't really describe the film without using the words mega shark fighting a giant octopus, with human's getting in the way.
And if you thought the attack on the helicopter halfway through Jaws The Revenge was over the top, wait till you see the attack on a 747, 35,000ft up...
To watch the monster mayhem - CLICK HERE.
One Eyed Monster is released through Metrodome on the 18th May and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is released at some point in the year..